“And Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counsellor, from his city, even from Giloh, while he offered sacrifices. And the conspiracy was strong; for the people increased continually with Absalom.” (2 Samuel 15:12)
Ahithophel stands as a cautionary tale for the dangerous downward spiral that bitterness and unforgiveness and a life-consuming personal vendetta will end up destroying your own life. In the Bible narrative, Ahithophel begins as a wise counselor to king David. His counsel and wisdom was so well regarded by both David and the people that “it was as if a man had enquired at the oracle of God” (2 Sam. 16:23). It would be fair to say he was the wisest counselor in all the kingdom. However, Ahithophel went from David’s trusted counselor to his bitter enemy joining Absalom’s rebellion and plotting how he can help Absalom destroy David. What happened to cause this drastic change?
The answer for Ahithophel’s sudden hatred of David is found in piecing together the genealogies. Ahithophel’s son was Eliam, who was one of David’s mighty men (2 Sam. 23:34). Eliam’s daughter was Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite (2 Sam. 11:3). David’s egregious sin of adultery was with Bathsheba, Ahithophel’s granddaughter. David also murdered his grandson-in-law, Uriah. Eliam was one of David’s mighty men, along with Uriah, no doubt having forged a great bond with him in their many battles together, in addition to being Uriah’s father-in-law. No doubt David’s mighty men and Eliam would have been in the battle against the Ammonites, and they would have seen Joab put Uriah in the forefront of the hottest battle and then inexplicably retire from him purposefully that he would be killed. When it came out that David had impregnated Bathsheba and murdered Uriah, any allegiance to David that Ahithophel had sharply turned to hatred and bitterness that consumed his life in how he could now destroy his newly sworn enemy.
Let me first say that David was totally in the wrong at every step of the way in his sin with Bathsheba. His adultery and murder were inexcusable. He was judged harshly for his sins, as he ought to have been. However, it was the Lord’s responsibility to judge David, not Ahithophel. It should be noted that Ahithophel had a real reason to be bitter and hate David in a worldly sense. It was not merely a miscommunication or fabrication. This was a valid, heinous offense. Also, while he probably put all the blame on David for relations with Bathsheba, let’s not forget it was a consensual affair; she was not forced. Yes, David did abuse his power, but Bathsheba was to blame as well, as a consensual participant in the affair. However, from Ahithophel’s perspective, it would have been easy for him to presume that David had used his royal power to force Bathsheba into this unwillingly and diminish any culpability of his granddaughter.
Sometimes people can allow small insignificant things to grow and fester and let a small mole hill of offense become an immovable mountain of unforgiveness in their mind. However, Ahithophel started with a real, true, valid mountain of offense against David. We see though that his hatred, bitterness, and unforgiveness did not hurt David, it only hurt him. God judged David for his sin. He lost his newborn son, and subsequently 3 other sons died in reaping the fourfold judgment he agreed with in Nathan’s parable (2 Sam. 12:1-7). He had rape among his children, murder of his son by his brother, rebellion of Absalom, and many other calamities. The sword never departed from his house all the rest of his life (2 Sam. 12:10). This is one of the most egregious series of offenses – adultery, murder, lies, and coverup – that anyone could be asked to forgive someone for. However, David was forgiven of these sins by the Lord (Ps. 32) even though he had to reap the effects of the sword he had sown the rest of his life. If God forgave David, then everyone else should forgive David as well. However, Ahithophel refused to forgive David for his sin, and he allowed that unforgiveness, bitterness, and hatred to destroy his own life, while it did not hurt David at all. It hurt other people – such as David’s concubines – but his unforgiveness did not hurt David, only primarily himself. Such is the case with all unforgiveness. We only hurt and possibly even destroy ourselves by refusing to forgive others; the other person is not hurt at all by our grudge and quest for revenge. Therefore, we must follow the command to forgive others who have egregiously hurt us just as God has forgiven us for Christ’s sake (Eph. 4:32).
Absalom’s revolt against David took place probably 12 years after his sin with Bathsheba. Ahithophel has been watering and fertilizing this root of bitterness and unforgiveness for 12 years to where his hatred and desire to exact revenge on David consumes his actions now that he finally has a chance to supposedly exact revenge through Absalom. When Absalom finally asks for Ahithophel’s counsel, he attempts to publicly humiliate David by Absalom going in unto David’s concubines on the top of the house in the sight of all of Israel (2 Sam. 16). Anyone can clearly see the personal nature of his counsel. David was up on the roof top when he saw Bathsheba when he forced her (from Ahithophel’s perspective). Now, he attempts to exact revenge on David because of what he perceived was done to his granddaughter; he has Absalom force David’s concubines in a high elevated rooftop for all of Isarel to see. A despicable act that was the result of Ahithophel’s desire to exact revenge upon David in a similar lewd act of David’s past sin. He did not care who he damaged in his quest for revenge against David, principally he did not care about the physical and emotional trauma to these ladies, David’s concubines. Also, while Absalom’s rebellion had a lot of momentum and popular support among the people up to this time, this heinous act showed publicly the wicked immoral character of Absalom and his counselor, Ahithophel, and actually severely damaged the popularity of Absalom’s rebellion, exactly the opposite of what Ahithophel intended. I think David knew how Ahithophel’s personal hatred of him had clouded his former wise judgment, and he had previously prayed for God to turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness (2 Sam. 15:31), which ended up happening.
Now Ahithophel is so hasty in his desire to kill David, he requests 12,000 men to go and pursue David to kill him (2 Sam. 17). However, the Lord brings Ahithophel’s plan to naught by the counsel of Hushai. Ahithophel actually had a good plan for the rebellion, but it was the Lord’s will to defeat his good counsel to bring calamity upon Absalom (17:14). Ahithophel is so distraught over his plan to kill David not being executed and his ego damaged and Hushai’s plan being chosen instead, he goes home and commits suicide by hanging himself (17:23). His life-consuming hatred to kill David because of his past sins against his granddaughter and grandson-in-law, the end result was actually him being so in despair over unfulfilled revenge that he took his own life.
It should also be noted that while David was speaking prophetically of Jesus being betrayed by his own “familiar friend” (Judas Iscariot) that broke bread with him (Ps. 41:9), it is believed that David was also relaying his own personal experience of his own familiar friend, Ahithophel’s, betrayal of him (see also Ps. 55:12-14). It is also interesting to note that both Ahithophel’s and Judas’ lives ended in suicide after their betrayal of their former familiar friend they broke bread with. It’s never good to be compared to Judas Iscariot and its most likely that the Ahithophel’s betrayal in David’s life was the real life event that was used to speak prophetically of Judas’ future betrayal of Jesus.
Ahithophel even let his own unfulfilled hatred lead him to kill himself, while if he would have not made that foolish decision, in only a few years, probably less than 10 years, his great-grandson, Solomon, would be king. If he had not killed himself, depending on his age, its possible he could have been the counselor to his own great-grandson as king. However, he let his unforgiveness and hatred of David consume him to such a degree that he removed his own ability to possibly even be the counselor to his great-grandson, Solomon, as the king.
Forgiveness is extremely hard, especially when there is a deep, open wound. However, the balm of Gilead for that gaping, open wound is not revenge against your offender, but the balm is the mercy, grace, and peace of Jesus Christ. The root of bitterness grows naturally in this world that is cursed by thorns and thistles. The seed of unforgiveness that grows into the root of bitterness will grow very fertily in our natural hearts if we are not purposeful to purge it from our hearts. If left unchecked, look where Ahithophel’s root of bitterness led him to after letting that unforgiveness grow and fester for 12 years, that led to horrible counsel, the sexual abuse of innocent women, and culminating in his own suicide. While forgiveness is certainly a hard calling, let us forgive freely and quickly, always being reminded of how great a ten thousand talent debt we have been forgiven from lest we allow our unforgiveness of any one hundred pence debt (Matt. 18:22-35) to be the downward spiral that leads to the destruction of our own life.